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2. From single girl to wife life

Updated: Oct 26, 2022

Oh hey again, nice to have you here. Welcome back to my blog series ‘Pieces of Me’. Subsequently it’s also the name of my album that I am currently writing, co-producing and self-releasing in 2023. In this episode I'm going to be talking about a track off the album called 'Sail Away With Me'. It's about being single, meeting someone, falling in love, getting married and starting a new chapter together. Simple, right?

It all started a long, long time ago... UM no, don't worry I am not about to go back in time and bore you to tears with the ins and outs of how I met my husband; we met, we fell in love, we stayed together. We got engaged by the Water of Leith in Edinburgh (check it out, it's a lovely walk) and some random orienteering guy appeared at the moment the proposal happened. It was very weird and funny and something we will never forget. Orienteering man made a second appearance later that day when we were in wandering along the lonely paths among the trees, and now that I am thinking back, I feel he may have been there to murder us...

I digress. We clearly escaped that fate as I'm here to tell the tale... Anyway yes so Sail Away With Me picks up the the 'Once Upon A Time' stories left off. After walking into the sunset (getting married, yeah?) what happens next? The party is over, everyone's gone home and the cake has been demolished. It's just you and your spouse. Looking at each other, like 'what do we do now?'

Marriage is a funny thing. At first it's all fun and games and wedding presents. It's big dresses and an intense course in how to plan a huge party. It's finding out your wedding photographer got engaged on your wedding day and spent the whole time showing off her rock to your guests instead of taking photos (true story). It's suddenly having to come up with 'your song' for the first dance when you don't actually have one. By the way, if you are reading this thinking, "Me and my other half don't have 'our song' either" then I can actually help you out. I started a side business a while ago writing bespoke songs for couples about to get married called Love Stories by Caragh where I write a personalised song based on your unique love story. I wish I had done it for my own wedding because it would have a) solved the issue of having to decide on a song when there are SO many to choose from and b) it would have been totally unique to me and my husband. What better keepsake that your own song!

I digress again. I keep doing that! The days following the wedding are some kind of weird twilight zone - don't get me wrong, it's lovely! But it's not real life. Suddenly it starts to dawn you on that people look at you differently. There are now expectations; will you take your husband's name? Are you going to pop out a couple of sprogs? Will you be staying at home to look after the kids? I'm being very general here by the way, I appreciate it's not the same for everyone, I guess I'm just talking from experience and that of some people I know. It just seems odd that none of these questions are posed to newly wedded husbands. It isn't expected of them. And it's not just wives, I think all women go through this when they reach a certain age. The expectation doesn't disappear because you're not walking down the aisle...

From the outside, single life looks like a lot of fun. You have freedom, choice, lie-ins (oh to have a lie in again), you can actually nurse a hangover (kids and adult headaches do not mix), you can go to the cinema/restaurant/pub/art show/any show/any other interesting activity whenever you want without having to schedule your life to within an inch of its life. But I know it has its drawbacks. From the horror stories I've heard about the modern dating game, I am happy with my Friday nights in and comfy leggings/ sweatshirt date night attire.

I was a lone-ship who found a friend-ship, we had a court-ship which turned to love-ship. We have many chapters to come, my husband and I and looking back on the first one has been full of ups and downs, kids and clowns and generally been an absolute ball. We may have moved past the 'waltzing into the sunset' chapter of the book but the adventures are still opening up before us and I can't wait to see what's next.

If you liked what you read/heard then don't keep it to yourself, share far and wide! I'll be back with the next piece of me soon but until then keep the heid, you’re doing great.

Caragh x

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