Look at us being all friendly, so much so you've come back for another piece of me. Thanks for sticking with me this far, I'm so glad to share this with you and give you a sneeky peak behind the curtain and explain what these songs are all about. If you're new here, welcome to my blog series ‘Pieces of Me’. Subsequently it’s also the name of my album that I am currently writing, co-producing and self-releasing in 2023. Today I want to talk about how we view mothers and motherhood. Buckle up pals, this mama is about to go on a rant!
So let's face it, we put a LOT of pressure on our Mums to be perfect. We expect so much from them and how disappointed do we feel when we see their humanity, when they make a mistake or let us down, or put someone else who isn't us, first. It's absolutely insane that we put this amount of pressure on Mums. Before I was one, I had NO idea what is involved in rearing children. It's like herding cats, with no sleep and the weight of ten men to carry and still make sure we do it all without breaking a sweat. Now that I am one, my eyes have been opened and I am 100% #teammum
In my song 'Sky Goddess' I drew inspiration from the mother of all mother's the Virgin Mary. Seems like a weird choice of muse but, well... here is my reasoning. Whatever your beliefs are (or not) it's more than likely you've heard of the Virgin Mary, particularly around Christmas time through the story of the Nativity. We've heard that story so many times that it is just accepted as it is. But if you really stop to think about it, what a birth story that is! First of all, she gave birth with no pain medication (that we know of), in a stable (think of the smells....boke), surrounded by donkeys and oxen (those beasts wouldn't have just been like, hey, Mary's giving birth, let's stand out of the way and give her some space), and then once the baby is out it's like 'thanks, that's great could you just shift over a bit please... cue - your job is done, thanks for your time, the door is this way.
Imagine that's what happened, you were essentially written out of the story because your kid took centre stage? Well, it's not that hard to imagine. Mums are often relegated to the background in photographs, behind the scenes, beavering away making sure 'operation family' runs smoothly. Even though more often than not, we're the CEO's of the family business, we don't get enough credit but when shit hits the fan, boy oh boy do we cop the blame! Whether you've killed someone or end up in therapy, it always seems to come back to what was your mother like? UM .... HOLD UP! She was doing her best and at some point your kids grow up into adults and make their own decisions so... yeah, less of the 'it's all yer maw's fault that you decided to ruin your life'.
Don't get me wrong, I know not all mothers are great at it, or even good at it. It's a tough gig and not for everyone. So some people have legitimate reasons to blame their mother, if they suffered at their hands. But most of the time, I'd say Mums do their best and that's all they can reasonably do.
Back to my gal Mary, imagine you were her for a second, and your kid was the son of God. That takes background mum to a whole new level. Think of Jesus as a toddler, refusing to eat his greens or throwing a tantrum because he wasn't getting his own way... or holding court at the local synagogue when he's 12 years old, telling the old guys what's what or bringing people back from the dead... what a riddy. Can you imagine having to try and mother that!
Being a mum is hard and messy, and is very much a learning-on-the-job kinda gig. We don't get it right all the time but the main thing is we try. Other than the one day a year we get some recognition for our efforts (I'm looking at your Mother's Day), I feel it needs to be said that we should appreciate our Mums every day. To my friends who's mothers have passed away, you are testament to their efforts and you're all fantastic humans. To my friends who's mother's didn't give you what you needed, you are strong because of their flaws and failings and that is your superpower. Some of you are mums now and you're amazing at it. I look at your wee cherubs and know they are in safe hands with you, and you're doing a wonderful job.
They say he without sin cast the first stone, perhaps we should all put the stones down and just do the best we can. Noone is perfect and that goes for Mums as well.
If you liked what you read/heard then don't keep it to yourself, share far and wide! I'll be back with the next piece of me soon but until then keep the heid, you’re doing great.