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Is this 'the end'?

So summer is coming to an end, the kids are back at school (well, here in Scotland) and we're getting back into the swing of the ole routine. There are a few months left of the year and what always seems to happen is, you blink and before you know it, it's that time of year again. I'm sorry but I refuse to say it. It's FAR too early.

I wanted to get in touch because something happened this week which got me all in a flump. Is that even a saying? Anyway I applied to become an in-house songwriter for a US based company who write custom songs for people. I was asked to audition (win!) and submitted my piece. I was really proud of what I'd created, I stuck to the brief and felt good about what might be next. BUT it wasn't to be. I was rejected and as with most things in the music industry, there's no explanation. Just 'it's not a match for us at this time'. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bummed out. Of course I was disappointed and it's never easy dealing with rejection. In saying that, it made me realise something that I had overlooked before.

My music isn't for everyone. I'm not for everyone.

I've sat with this for a few days now and it's really sunk in. I'm okay with this. I'm happy with this and it's really lifted the pressure on having to create stuff to try and appeal to everyone. I have a style and I like it, it's taken me a long time to hone that style so now is the time to stand by it and be proud of it.

This album is all about my experience of becoming a mother and what that's done to my life and myself. That won't appeal to many people, I get that and I'm okay with it. But for those who have gone through major life events, which have changed you in ways you couldn't have imagined, then you'll probably be like "yep, 100%, I feel seen" when you listen to these songs. That's who this album is for. I'm not unique in my experience. I'm not special in that respect. It's comforting to know there are many people out there who have gone through the same thing. I hope I've managed to translate those complex feelings into enjoyable music to savour, reflect upon and listen to over and over again.

So for now, it is the end. The end of trying to appeal to people who won't ever get it. Instead, it's the beginning of learning to be comfortable with who I am and the music I create. The best part of that is I get to hang out with you, who absolutely gets it and is 100% here for it.


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